You’d be surprised how many 26-year-olds think they don’t need to get regular check-ups.
It’s true what you heard when you were little, that after a certain age the years go by faster. A few minutes ago it was 2014, the song “Anaconda ” had just come out, and I could drink a bottle of wine by myself without a problem. And suddenly I’m in my thirties and I look at my tattooed eyebrows and now I regret that I’ll never be able to bleach them to look younger and more interesting.
But if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t. Not because I couldn’t stand another party on MD, but because the sex just got a lot better. At the age of thirty, you already know what you want and you are not ashamed to ask for it. Given the experience I’ve gained so far and the fact that I’ve been open to everything from anal sex to rimming, I thought I’d make a list of things you should know about sex before you turn thirty.
1) Do your tests regularly
Even if you are married. Even if it’s been I don’t know how long since you haven’t had sex. It’s basic stuff, but you’d be surprised how many 26-year-olds think they don’t need to get regular checkups.
It’s not even difficult like it used to be. Now they are done very quickly, even by mail , without going to the hospital, and you receive the results directly in the mail. We are lucky, we caught good times.
2) Find out what you like first
You know what’s harder than finding out what a new partner likes in bed? When that partner doesn’t even know what they like in bed. It doesn’t have to be something very complicated, like a scenario or a specific kink . Just let her know that she finds oral sex a lot cooler if you stick a finger in her ass, for example. It’s very sexy when someone knows what they like and talks about it.
3) Everyone is weird, so get over the embarrassment
I don’t think there’s a person who doesn’t have a weirder preference. The best thing for me is that after thirty years you don’t care what other people think about you. Does your ex-flatmate have a fetish for being treated like a baby and wearing a diaper? Well done them! A former high school classmate profile picture of the Joker punching the air with a belt? I’ve seen much worse things on the internet. So embrace your quirks and fantasies , because you have no reason to be ashamed. Even if your fantasy is the missionary position.
4) Prelude means everything
When I was a teenager, I thought fisting meant sticking your fist all the way into your vagina at once (that might be a fetish too, who knows). But it’s much nicer to slide your fingers in one by one, for the same reason that foreplay is cooler than direct penetration. Same with anal sex. It’s nicer to stimulate the anus well before you penetrate it.
5) The first time you have sex with someone will not necessarily be good
The first sexual act with a person will not be as good as the next. Either because you’re stressed or emotional, or because you don’t know the other person’s preferences. The point is not to ghost someone after the first sexual interaction. At least give him one more chance.
6) Licking versus sucking the clitoris
It’s not enough to just know where your clit is, guys, now you have to know what to do with it. Some people prefer to lick it, others to suck it. Make sure you’re strong on both.
7) Bodies and preferences are diverse and can change over time
As much as the guys on YouTube try to convince you that there are universally valid tricks for everyone, remember that any trick becomes boring if you make it a rule. It’s more important to always communicate what you each want.
8) Urinate after sex, EVERY TIME, especially as a woman
Even if you’re drunk. Even if you already pissed on your sexual partner, because you have this fetish. Even if you live in the dorm and have to go to the shared bathroom. This is the only way to protect yourself from urinary infections.
9) Anal sex is not your enemy
If you’re 27 and haven’t had anal sex yet, that’s ok. I do not judge you!
I’m just saying it would be a shame not to at least try. With patience and plenty of lube, chances are you’ll have a great experience. Be open to everything your own body has to offer.
10) There’s nothing wrong with swallowing sperm
It’s already in your mouth anyway. Why waste any more time looking for a place to spit it out?
11) Use all parts of the body
You have no idea how much you can turn a person on until you take every part of their body in turn. Ear, neck, thigh. It does not make sense to go past the age of 27 and think that the only erogenous zones are the genitals.
12) Fingering is underrated
Lesbians can confirm this for you. If you’re a man, please learn how to make someone orgasm just by using your fingers. It’s magical.
13) If a person has sex with you, they probably find you attractive
You don’t have to get complex during sex after a certain age. If a person has sex with you, it means they find you attractive. Ready. Stop beating your head.
14) Lubricant is your friend
They keep saying it’s useless, but it’s a shame. Lubricant is really necessary for certain sexual acts, plus there are so many options.
Silicone lube is super slippery (great for anal sex), but not good when using a condom or sex toys because it destroys them. The CBD lube increases your sensations and relaxes you, and the warming lube is super exciting and gives you that feeling of washing your intimate area with a light menthol shower gel.
15) Everyone should own at least three sex toys
Sex toys are some of the most necessary purchases you will make in the first three decades of your life. You don’t have to take who knows what greatness. One internal toy, one external and one more for a special preference. And I don’t just mean women, it’s super hot to find an open-minded straight guy who has toys.
For example, I have a dildo, a wand vibrator, and an anal stimulation toy.
16) Don’t gossip
This also applies in general, not just to sex. Obviously you can tell your roommate that someone peed on you and you liked it. But if you’re at a party at 4 in the morning and someone asks you how sex was with a certain person, you don’t need to give too many details. You’re not 16 anymore. And you would like to be given the same respect in your turn, right?
17) Don’t send nude faces
It is known that revenge porn is a fairly widespread phenomenon. Until people come to their senses and stop judging us for nudes, don’t send them to anyone. And it doesn’t include the face.
18) Sex work is a job like any other
We are adults. Everyone has the right to do what they want. If you can’t accept this, I’m confiscating your laptop until you’ve sufficiently documented yourself and matured.
19) It is normal for sex to involve emotions
You are not some psychopath. It’s normal to feel emotions when you have sex with a fuckbuddy. If you pretend there are no emotions between you, you will both suffer. Emotions make sex better anyway.
20) Who cares if squirting is urine or not?
This topic has been debated for years. The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter if it’s urine or not – the important thing is that it’s very exciting and feels great.
21) It’s ok to have an average sized penis
Not everyone has a big penis. And that’s a good thing, because most of the time, a medium penis is much better than a big one.
Who wants to be ripped in half during sex? In addition, men with large penises don’t know how to do anything else in bed, they feel that having a dick is enough. Kudos to men with average penises who know how to use their fingers and tongue!
Relax, for real. Laugh at the pussies in your vagina. Throw your tit over your shoulder. Make fun of the idea that five minutes ago you were watching a documentary and eating pizza and now you’ve ended up having sex.
23) Masturbate regularly
Masturbation is as underrated as fingering. Even if you’re in a relationship, take time to masturbate. This is how you find out what you like, how you want to be touched and what your fantasies are. It’s sexy to be able to give yourself an orgasm whenever you want.
24) Always keep a towel handy
Because it doesn’t make sense to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Unless you want to pee after sex, obviously.
25) Foreplay is better than penetration
You do not agree? It means you’re not doing the right thing. I’m sick of porn movies where the man penetrates the woman and she orgasms immediately. I’m not saying it wouldn’t work for some women, but those are the exceptions. It’s much more erotic to strongly excite a woman before you penetrate her, make her beg you.
26) Shit still happens
The best sex stories also contain some shit. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s better to laugh about it. What the hell, you’re already thirty years old. Does a little poo in intercourse scare you?
27) Try anything at least once
If you’re willing to eat snails when you get to Paris, why not try pegging at least once? Either you find out you don’t like it and then you have an excuse to say no when it’s offered to you in the future, or you have so much fun that you’ll have the best orgasm of your life and never give it up.
28) Use sex toys that have a large base
Did you know that dildo testicles have a purpose? Don’t stick the dildo in and end up in the hospital. If you want to invest in anal toys, get a flared one that has a large base.
29) Consent, obviously
It’s an essential item on the list. Consent isn’t just sexy, it’s a necessity. It’s pretty obvious that you should ask before trying anything with someone.
30) Don’t forget that you probably haven’t had the best sex of your life yet
I keep hearing this thing, that women don’t have quality sex until their forties. I took a lot of comfort from that during my single times. Experience has proven to me that no matter how sexually experienced a guy is, there will always be an even better one. So now I don’t worry anymore, which is what I wish for you too.