” Illusion is also lived” , says the saying. And he is right, because a large part of the things that excite us are fed by our imagination and the expectations that we place on them, although they are not always met. It can happen to us with everything: from a trip, a party or a new restaurant, to the end of a game, a date, a romantic dinner… and, of course, sex. For this reason, although we must never lose hope , we must be clear that the higher our expectations, the less chance there will be that reality adjusts to them, and the greater the disappointment . So you have to adjust the scale and if in the end the result is not what you expected, relativize things. Experience helps, and attitude too.
In this post we point out some situations related to sex that may not turn out as expected . If it happens to you, or has happened to you, don’t worry, it’s more normal than you think! It is best to take things humorously and wait for a better opportunity .
The first time . You have a new partner and you don’t know when or how it’s going to happen, you’re really looking forward to it but you’re also worried that it won’t be perfect. In the end, it happens, but it’s not what you expected. If it has happened to you and the slump has entered you, calm down, you are not the first. If there is complicity and good communication, things can improve. As you get to know each other and there is more trust and intimacy, you will see it. Sometimes we set the bar very high, but what matters is that the relationship is worthwhile and also the willingness of both parties to make it work.
The morning after . Normally we imagine that it must be a special moment of intimacy, especially if the night has been great. But it is possible that the other person sleeps more than necessary, they have to leave quickly, they are not at the same point as you or they do not feel like having breakfast when they get up, so it is better not to “make many movies”. Smile, ask him if he wants a coffee, and improvise! Being natural is what usually works best.
Aphrodisiac dinner… failed . You may be excited to prepare a “romantic” dinner that ends up in the place you want to arrive, and that you spend a lot of time organizing all the preparations: place, menu, your outfit… But you have to be predisposed and receptive on both sides. The warm lights, the surroundings, the good food and the music help. But if it all looks too forced or your interest is unrequited, it won’t work. It is better to order something for dinner at home on the spur of the moment and leave a margin open to the possibility, than getting involved in preparing a special dinner or spending a fortune in a top restaurant, for nothing.
Multiple orgasms, a myth? The myth is not that they exist or not, but to have the expectation of achieving them or to think that the fault of not achieving them lies with our partner. Every woman has a different sexual response. Some may experience several orgasms of lower intensity and others a single orgasm or several high intensity orgasms. In the end, the best orgasm, experts say, is the one that has been enjoyed.
Fantasy: sex marathon . Like everything, it is better to let things arise naturally and get to know each other beforehand. There are those who can stand the type and those who need to rest to regain energy. Also, more or more frequent sex doesn’t mean it’s better. The important thing is quality and enjoyment.
“ What do… what?” Sometimes disappointments are due to sex taking place before there is the confidence to discuss personal preferences on that level. So, even if you can’t control your desire, communication is essential, especially if you don’t like what he proposes or vice versa. Sex has to be satisfying for both of them. And the same is true even if you have been together for a while. If you don’t dare to openly talk about it with your partner, something is wrong.
Size Matters? It is a topic and there is who cares, of course. But, although visually it may excite us more or less, what counts in the end is not so much the centimetres but the sexual satisfaction and that there is “chemistry”. So it is better not to judge from the outset by appearances and wait to take action.
Sex in the shower. The movies have created a myth, but it is not usually the most comfortable way, you have to regulate the flow of water, the temperature, control the position, and have some practice in improvisation. oh! and be relatively quick, because soaking for a long time can make the excitement decrease…
Another “mythologized” option is the Jacuzzi as a couple: if you both love taking a bath, you can try it. But if not, it is usually more uncomfortable than exciting, especially if there is a lack of space or the water starts to overflow and you are not at home…
Unison orgasm: mission impossible? We have the preconceived idea that arriving as a couple and at the same time is the perfect situation. And yes, it is very satisfying, but getting it on a regular basis is not easy. If it happens…enjoy it! But not achieving it has nothing to do with being a better or worse lover, but with the times of arousal and sexual response, since the ways to achieve them tend to be different between men and women, and at an individual level as well.
New positions . Nothing happens to try, on the contrary, it can be stimulating and even fun, if there is complicity and mutual trust. But you have to respect the tastes of the other and be aware of your own limitations. If you are not a yogi or flexible by nature, or you are of a certain age, it is better not to innovate much or go little by little. And it is important that both of you agree. Forcing the situation or making the other person feel obligated to do something “to please” does not usually give a good result.
Security does not “kill” spontaneity . If you have a sexual encounter with someone you do not know, it is important that you take preventative barrier measures to avoid sexually transmitted infections. It does not have to “cut the roll” or be taken as a lack of confidence. If they don’t agree, they don’t have your interests in mind and it’s not a good starting point.
In short, as you can see, the key is to be natural, express your wishes, listen to those of the other person and, above all, maintain good communication with your partner in order to be able to speak honestly.